


First Sunrise

by dcockroach



Series: Kacxa Week 2020 [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Acxa and Keith being dense af, F/M, Kacxa Week 2020, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, no one dies in canon but the tag makes sense when you read the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26814607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dcockroach/pseuds/dcockroach
Summary: After years of Keith asking her, Acxa finally decides to go and gaze at the stars with him.Written for Kacxa Week 2020.
Relationships: Acxa & Ezor (Voltron), Acxa & other characters, Acxa/Keith (Voltron)
Series: Kacxa Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955707
Comments: 12
Kudos: 18





	First Sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: After years of Keith asking her, Acxa finally decides to go and gaze at the stars with him.
> 
> Written for Kacxa Week 2020.
> 
> _**Disclaimer:** I do not own Voltron: Legendary Defender or the character thereof. All characters mentioned here are property of Dreamworks and WEP. Kacxa Week and the prompt "First Sunrise" is a prompt belonging to Kacxa Week and therefore not a property of mine. This is a work of fiction intended for the purposes of entertainment and I do not mean to profit, or claim as my own. Any relations to people, similar or dead, are completely unintentional. _
> 
> I wrote this though so please do not repost.

Acxa has seen countless starry nights in her seventy-eight years of life.

In her childhood, they meant the raids had stopped. 

That the cannons were recharging, the crews onboard the cruisers were refueling. 

But she didn’t know that then. Only later she’d learn, as a general and an executor of those very same raids upon other planets. For a scrawny, starving orphan back then, they were the only opportunities she had to scavenge the ravaged land for food. 

And when the sun rose at the end of the day, it delineated a cruel, unending cycle broken only when she’d taken up the uniform and became one of them.

Under Lotor, starry nights were for completing missions. 

With the other generals at her side (and Lotor conspicuously back at headquarters), they’d sneak into galra occupied territory. To pick up supplies or information or perhaps even a hostage, they were safe from the hapless resistance of the planets’ local leaders or the prying eyes of the commanders who oppressed them. On some planets they were only nights they could. Oftentimes the missions would drag long into the night, completed at the sunrise.

As a Blade, she’d spent most of them indoors. 

Sitting at a desk provided by the very same leaders she would have been subjugating in a different life, she’d complete the forms and agreements that would guarantee those planets (or those next in the schedule) their yearly supply of Blade-supplied sustenance. Sometimes she’d finish early. Oftentimes they’d occupied her until the sun was high in the sky. 

The others opposed it. 

_Starry nights were for cutting loose_ , Zethrid would say. 

_The fun kind_ , Ezor would add with a wink of her good eye. 

Even Keith would forfeit his duty on said nights. With the wolf at his side, he’d stayed up late, sometimes until dawn itself, sitting outside under the stars. Enjoying the way they twinkled and faded with the sunrise at the start of the new day.

On some nights he’d asked her to join him. She had rejected them all so far, leaving him to go alone with candid disappointment.

And yet, the request no matter how much time had past, left the same persistent tingling in her chest. 

(She ignores that too).

She was a soldier and it was just a sunrise. She’s witnessed countless before. It would be no different.

She didn’t need (deserve) it anyways

* * *

_Acxa watched intently as Ezor passed the damp cloth over the surface of the false eye, careful not to damage the part that attaches to the back of the socket implant._

_The miracle child of Altean and Earth science combined, the replacement eye revolutionized the prosthetic industry. It gave the wearer the ability to experience the world as if they never lost their vision, while appearing as though they never lost the organ._

_Granted they took special care of the implant that is. It took Ezor 30 years to cave into accepting the procedure for that reason alone. That, and the pride in her own battle scars, was never able to turn Zethrid._

_“What?” Ezor asked defensively, pausing her nightly ritual to give her a single eyed glare. “Not everyone can have a naturally self-healing body like yours, sorry.”_

_It was true. To a certain extent._

_At the start of every year the outer layer of Acxa’s outer pelt would detach itself from the lower layers and shed itself, taking any scars she’d received the year before with it. It left her with clear, unmarred skin as if it was never injured in the first place._

_Acxa often took for granted the quirks of her mixed genetics, but that was something from her father’s side she - or anyone she knew - could not ignore._

_What she neglected to tell Ezor and the others, out of pride as much as from convenience, was that even though the physical, visible scar was gone, its mark on her body, and mind, remained. That with every yearly shed she was forced to relive the pain of every single injury, every single moment, again as if she were receiving them for the first time._

_Every single one._

_It was gruesomely painful. But at least if she focused on her work hard enough, she could ignore it. And no one would notice. Her baldness and lack of antlers, they weren’t nearly as concealable. (It couldn't restore damaged organs either)._

_But those were not proper retributions. Not for the guilt she felt for harming her companions. That, she relived every time she talked to Zethrid or witnessed Ezor clean her eye prosthetic. That will eat away at her, always._

_“-do tonight.”_

_Acxa glances up at Ezor, with an eyebrow raised. The statement snapped her out of the recollection but otherwise left her lost._

_Ezor drops the used cloth on the counter with an annoyed growl. With said hand now placed firmly on her side, she sighs. A long weary one._

_“I said,” she says with slow emphasis, as if Acxa were a child that had to be explained again why they had to eat their bone marrow, “what’re you planning to do tonight.”_

_That made Acxa’s brow rise higher. “I plan to complete the most pressing reports. And if I have time, the less important ones.” She couldn’t understand why Ezor would ask. She did the same every night._

_“_ Ugh. _” Ezor sighs dramatically, refusing to look at Acxa as if she had wronged her worse than the eye loss. “But you do that every night.”_ _  
_

_“_ _There are always reports to finish.” Acxa points out. “You should finish yours.”_

_“I won’t because I actually love myself.”_

_“Why are you questioning me this Ezor?” Acxa asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. It was always the same cyclical argument with Ezor._

_“Well cause it’s the anniversary.” Ezor says, unbothered by Acxa’s annoyance._

_“Of what?”_

_“You know, the anniversary of that time Lotor sent you into that weblum. Alone.” Ezor replied as if it were very obvious, turning back to the mirror and bringing the false eye up to her face. “Isn’t that where you and Keith had your first brain-wave-connection thingy you guys only have with each other?”_

_“It was the first time we met, yes.” Acxa says, crossly. She’d known Ezor for years and the other woman still managed to get under her skin with each misrepresented statement she uttered._

_“Well, I was thinking, since it’s the anniversary and all, that you’d like to spend the night with him?” Ezor’s face curled into a knowing smirk. “I_ know _you guys just_ love _rolling in the dirt together.”_

 _“_ Ezor _,” Acxa warns, abhorring the way her face heated up. Training with Veronica and the MFEs has taught her that such statements bore hidden implications, often not good ones. Even if Acxa herself was never able to truly grasp what they meant at times._

_“Psh I’m joking.” Ezor says. She’d replaced her eye back and her socket and was now examining it in the mirror. “Acxa I’ve known you since I was like what, twelve? Thirteen?”_

_“Eleven.” Acxa twitched at the recollection. It was after the Zigessian siege. Mother was still alive then. Recalling_ her _made Acxa’s skin crawl years later, red and painful as she were shedding for the first time again. It was something she hated to admit._

 _“Right and I_ know _how you - what do the humans say? Tock?” Ezor points a finger at her._

_Acxa stared at her._

_“Well, something like that. I’m just saying the night_ is _nice, and you know Keith always goes out to stare at the stars when it’s like that.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_Ezor glared at her. It bored harder into Acxa with two eyes. “You’ve been_ dreaming _of him for_ years _now. Can you love yourself enough for one night to join him?”_

* * *

_Acxa left that conversation fuming. What did Ezor know about what she needed? She didn’t know her_ that _well._

_How did she remember that date anyways?_

_Ruminating on those thoughts, she almost ran into Keith._

_He’d been looking for her._

_Like many times before over the he poises the same question, and like many times before, her heart races she answers._

_“Yes,” she answers, keenly aware it’s the first time she’s ever said that to this in over sixty years._

_She can’t tell if her pulse quickening is from excitement or fear._

* * *

Acxa had to force herself from reaching for her blade when they arrived at the field, some miles away from their deployment at the city of Hiyrass.

“ _You can loosen up you know?”_

_Acxa turned to her with a furrowed brow._

_That didn’t phase Veronica. It never had. Never would. “I’m just saying you can relax. You don’t have to act like someone’s about to jump you any second.”_

Old habits die hard though, and it takes her entire mental fortitude not to pull the blade out of its holster.

So she focuses on the landscape instead.

For once, Acxa was glad shed listened to Ezor.

The night was beautiful.

The moon basking over the fields. The summer’s breeze, its touch a soft caress over the wildflowers. The stars in the sky, so innumerable she might as well have been in space. The wind in her face. It was nice. 

Perhaps…., she had been missing out all these years.

Shaking brings her back to why she came here for. 

She turns back to Keith tying the last knot on the hoverbike. The wolf, satisfied with the lack of pollen stuck to its fur now, walks up to her now, with a happy pant.

“I think that’s enough.” Keith gives the rope one final tug for good measure. Then pauses. “Right?” he turns towards,.

Keith never tied down the bike, not on Earth or on New Diabazaal. Only this time he did. Even against his own assurances that no one in their right mind would steal it. 

But if living on the streets and working under Lotor had taught her something, it was to never trust the people you were working with. Even if they were refugees and you were helping them. So she insisted.

Acxa blinks, realizing that Keith was awaiting an answer and she hadn’t given it. “I...I suppose so.” The wolf sniffs at her hand and whines. She gladly offers it out for him to lick.

“There’s a lake down by the hill. It’ll be a good place to see the sunrise.” Keith suggested.

“Of course.” Acxa replies automatically as if she’d received an order.

He gives her a long look. She meets it. 

They stay like that for a while, a battle of wills, neither willing to be the first to break it.

He smiles finally, and pats her shoulder. An old gesture of friendship. Almost as familiar as the staring. Yet simultaneously different.

She smiles. Her pulse quickens again against her wishes.

It had to be the cold.

\---

‘The lake’ wasn’t that far away. It was only the base of the hill they’d tied the hoverbike down on.

But it overlooked the field, gave them a clear view of the night, and the wolf had a spot on the bank to sleep, so it was good.

The two of them laid up against the side of the hill, not facing each other. Acxa sat with her arms up against her shoulders and Keith hunched forward, left arm balanced on his pulled up knee. The wolf slept not far away from them.

Neither spoke. They didn’t need to. They never had. Talking would have only taken away from the moment - distracted them from the sounds of wild animals and the leaves falling onto the lake.

She twitched. Balled her hand into a first. She will enjoy this. This time.

“My dad and I used to do this, back in the day.” Keith says, breaking the silence.

Her eyes looked at him. The only part of her that moved. The rest remained frozen solid. Best if it remained that way.

Keith took it as a signal to continue. “Then Shiro and I would steal a couple of Garrison hoverbikes and head out into the desert. Stayed there and talked until the sun went down.” 

He stared at her again. It was not as comforting as it was earlier. Prior experience with such conversations told her she should say something.

“Lotor would take us to the Cyliysic system to train.” Acxa states flatly.

Keith seems to pause there. “That’s the one with the blovar raptors?” Keith asked, finally.

“Yes.” Acxa affirms. “Zethrid nearly had her face burned off at one occasion.”

“If only she’d known what’ll happen in a couple of years.” Keith snorts. The laugh doesn’t reach his eyes.

A pang of guilt, old but familiar, shoots through her chest. Leave it to an old friend to recall past mistakes. “If only.” she says, finally.

Silence befalls them then. It’s not as comforting as before. Even the beasts of the lake have silenced. Only the wolf’s snores reminded them they weren’t alone then.

And yet, it remained

“It’s the anniversary.” Acxa says suddenly, after what felt like hours of that. It was her turn to break the silence.

Keith stares at her, then lets out a chuckle. “Can’t believe you remember the date.” This time, the laugh reaches his eyes. 

“I didn’t.” Acxa said. “Ezor reminded me.”

“ _Oh._ ” he looked down at his feet, as if downcast.

“I was going to shoot you.” Acxa continues, retelling a story he already knew.

“Until I told you you were like the other galra.” Keith jumps in, filling in the gaps he’d known already. “Still can’t believe that’s what got to you.”

“No it was before.” Acxa sits up on her elbows. “When you saved my life.” Acxa says, her gaze darkening. Saying that had dug up an old pain in her chest, one that had remained dormant for decades. “No one... had done that before _._ ”

She could feel him staring at her. “It was the right thing to do.”

Acxa’s pace quickened at that. “Not back then, I was your enemy.”

“You were gonna die.”

“I could have ended you then.”

“Was worth the risk though.”

Acxa raises a brow at him.

Keith looks away, sheepishly, not wanting to look at her in the eye. “Then I wouldn’t have gotten to know you.” His eyes widened. “Uh, got to work with you that is.” He stares back into the stars.

Acxa’s heart pounded in her chest. 

“A lot of things have changed huh?” he asks, not breaking away from the stars.

The answer should be yes. On Earth, their friends had gotten old, had gotten married, raised children. Some were gone. Some of those for years now. Even visiting New Altea wasn’t the same anymore.

And yet, the two of - the four of them remained. Same faces, performing the same rounds, helping the same refugee planets. No different than forty years before. Last time she was on Earth Rizavi had gawked and had asked her whom she sacrificed to “keep looking so good.”

Acxa did not do anything. It was biology. 

“Some things change.” she said finally.

“Yeah, not all of them.” she catches him staring again.

Her pulse quickens again, but she doesn’t say anything. She had nothing to say.

He breaks the stare again, the silence returning.

It’s not as discomforting as earlier, but not nice as the first time. Bringing up old memories had dug up old shames too. 

“I need to tell you something.” Acxa begins.

Keith seems to stop then, not looking at her. 

It was perhaps for the best. 

“I wanted to kill you afterwards.” The words came quickly out of her mouth. Too quickly. 

It was out.

“Yeah I know.” Keith snorts, a little too relaxed. “We were just talking about that.”

“No after that. When we would reunite by chance.” she explains her guilt, urging him to understand. 

Keith looks as though he was thinking something, then smiles. The one she liked so much. “I guess that makes two of us then.”

“You wanted to kill me too.” Acxa smiled at that. It went both ways. That was comforting.

“W-what? No - I mean yeah, at the time.” Keith shook his head, his eyes shut closed. “I _wanted_ \- needed to - _had to_ \- to fight you. Then.” he sighs.

“Truth is, I was thinking of something else.” he admits.

“What is it?” 

“I stole Shiro’s car.” Keith said, as if it were a dark secret he had to hide under wraps for years. “I also kind of beat up James back then.”

James. Her pulse relaxes then. 

It had been years since he’d passed, but the wound was still fresh. He’d been her companion, even if he and Keith never truly got along.

So the admittance didn’t surprise or phase her. She’d beaten James many times over the years when he had been still strong enough to pick up a weapon. 

“I shot Lotor in the back.” she states.

He scoffs, “That had to be by accident. _”_

“No, I had meant it.” Acxa said.

“What- when?” His head shoots up to stare at her, surprised that she’d ever attempted to do that before she’d broken ties with him on that day on the ruins of old Daibazaal.

She never told him. Besides her, shame digs itself in her chest. Part of it was that she’d forgotten to, forgotten that he didn’t know. She’d been his friend for so long - almost as long as Zethrid and Ezor - that she’d forgotten that he wasn’t _always_ there.

It was a habit she shared with Ezor and Zethrid sometimes. She loathed it. Loathed it when it came to him.

“It was…, before he went to work with Voltron. After he killed Narti.” Acxa explained, not looking at him in the eye.

Another jab of pain hits her. Narti had been gone longer. Had been more of a partner than a companion, though in the years late Acxa’d like to the think of her more as the later than simply as the former.

She turns to see the gears turning in Keith’s head. “Is that why your team split up?” he asks, finally.

“Yes. That was why.” Acxa admits. Another old wound, dug at her chest. She’d gone back to work with him afterwards, despite what he’d done before. She’d betrayed her beliefs, betrayed Narti, even for a moment.

She shut her eyes. She was a different person then. She’s changed. She knew that now. Had shed that guilt away like one of her old skins. 

“He deserved it.” 

Acxa opens her eyes and stares at Keith.

The wind had returned then, blowing Keith’s hair, tied back, making it appear more graceful than it should have been. “He was a jerk.” he says, flatly.

“Yes, he was.” Acxa says with a smile.

The silence returns again, but Acxa welcomes it this time. The only sound was the wind blowing in the trees, rustling in the leaves.

“You know,” Keith said, breaking the silence again after a while. “We were two big messes back then weren’t we?” 

“We were.” 

She’d argued she still was. Ezor still calls her one. So does Rizavi. Veronica used to say she was one too, in an indirect way. Never directly, she never would _dare_ to, she was too nice. It was usually in reference to her living situation. But the implication - she’d learn about them from her, she’d _know_ it - was there.

Acxa could never understand what she had against living in a cave though. It was nice.

“We still are.” Acxa points out.

“Yeah, we still kinda are.” Keith chuffed. Then laughs and puts his face in his hand. “Damn I’m starting to sound like Lance.” At the mention of the blue paladin his face got serious.

Acxa frowned. She wasn’t the only one who’d known the pain of losing companions over the years. Last time he’d seen the blue paladin, was when they were burying him five years ago. 

It was the last time he’d seen other paladins too, actually. They’ve all dressed up in their armor for the occasion. It was fitting, she’d been told.

Lance had been the most nostalgic one and outside of Hunk’s efforts, had been the one to gather their old team together on anniversaries or children’s birthdays or the like. He’d been seventy-four when he’d passed.

Shuffling brings her back, she’d been drifting again.

Keith was sitting closer to her now. His face is concerned.

She smiles and his expression’s replaced by relief. Only to get nervous again.

“Uh, we could be... messes together?” he asks, unsure. 

Everything stopped. Even her heart, racing the whole evening, freezes at his statement.

Not the wind though. That was blowing in her face, blowing her hair into her mouth.

She’d never thought he’d ask.

“Never-” Keith begins, his face red, trying to look away in shame.

“We could.”

He stares up at her in surprise. 

Everything in her was turning back on. As if they were restarting. “We can be…, messes with one another.” She explains, slowly, sitting up. 

Keith smiles, wider this time. “Yeah, that would be great.”

He shuffles closer. She stays perfectly still. 

Something changed then, but she didn’t realize it until later. To think, that years ago if her younger self would throwing a fit. She could picture it - round face, antler nubs, four of them, only knowing hate and rage - she'd hate her current self.

Or perhaps she was wrong. She did save Keith as many times as she spent hating him.

"I was wrong." Acxa said.

Keith opens his eyes from where he dozed.

"I didn't want to kill you back then."

"Not even in the weblum?"

"Not even in the weblum."

They sat there, watching the stars together as the night melted into early morning. 

By then, a yawn breaks their moment and the wolf gets up from its spot in the reeds and walks over to them and sits besides them. Keith reached out and scratched it behind its ears.

“You know,” Keith said.

Acxa raises a brow at him. 

“The hoverbike can take it."

She follows his gaze towards the lake.

A smirks, matching his, sneaks onto her face. He didn’t need to say more.

Yes, she stayed awake through countless starry nights, most of them working. But this one was different. It was a breath of air, as cooling as the breeze and as refreshing as the mist that batted at her face as the bike drove over the surface of the lake, Keith behind her, and the wolf behind them. This was their first, their first night.

And when the sun rose in the morning, that was perhaps, their first sunrise.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys told me years ago that the first fic I'd post online in almost a decade was gonna be a kacxa fic I wouldn't of believed you.
> 
> But here it is!
> 
> Sorry if it's a bit stilted or the dialogue isn't quite right. I'm rusty and I wrote this all in one day (yesterday) and edited it this morning. (Which, by the way, if you see weird grammatical errors or half sentences or other bizarre things please tell me cause I always overlook that.)
> 
> Catch me on twitter at [Deevulture](https://twitter.com/DeeVulture)
> 
> I don't know how the kacxa mods are going to see this though.


End file.
